hermie809

Ok. So I'm almost 20. And I. still love. the Backstreet Boys. Yes, its true. Although the other concerts I've attended and the music I usually listen to wouldn't really match up, I do. I guess you could say, being a 90s child, I've always had a soft spot for all those boy pop groups from back in the day. I never really got to see any of them, so last weekend was my chance. And yes, I took FULL advantage :).

( You are my fire, my one desire )

A real update! Yes~!

I've been rather nostalgic today. You see, October 23rd would have been my 4th year anniversary with Brendan. Surprisingly, with all this time passing, I still think about him daily. And that's an understatement. I think about him probably at least 5x per day on average. I don't know what it is. I think it mutated from me missing him like I used to, to now just always wondering what he's doing. I always wonder what he's thinking, if he's sad or happy, if he's happy with Hillary, if he ever thinks about me too, if he misses me, etc. Stuff that I shouldn't dwell on, but I do anyways. This week I decided to unfriend him on facebook. Every time he updates or something I always end up looking and then I look at Hillary's profile and it just...idk. It guess it gets to me. I would feel so embarrassed if he knew that I did this because I feel like he's way "over" me and I'm still just trying to erase him from my mind. I'm the weaker one here.

My brain is dead. This school year is going so painfully slow. Last year sped by. Like, it was probably the quickest moving school year of my life. But this one is the total opposite. It's weird, because the days themselves go by rather quickly. But as a whole I can't believe its only October. It feels like I've been here for way longer....

Anyways, OMG ROADTRIPPING TO CHARLOTTE, NC TO SEE THE BACKSTREET BOYS 0_______0. Hello, nine-year-old self, it has been awhile <3

I know, I know. All I do nowadays is update with concert reports. Buuuuu~t I can't help it >_<. Worry not, however, after the Backstreet Boys, there isn't another concert until December.

Henry, Tom, and Eric drove up to park at Duquesne so we could walk down to Diesel from there. This was a good thing and a bad thing. The bad thing was that they got way lost and Duquesne is tricky to find or get back to if you don't know the way. Also, it was cold, rainy, and just generally shitty outside so we had to walk about half a mile to the show in god awful weather. HOWEVER! after the show when we came back to the duq.edu parking lot, the guy at the pay booth just let us go for free 0___o. Free parking in a garage in the city? Heeeeellllz to the yes!

The opener was a good (*gasp*) local band! :D. The name is Dethlehem and they're Medieval Metal, which is like the greatest, next to Viking Metal, Pirate Metal, and Folk Metal lol. They even wore real chainmail and helmets *_*. Pics will see light on my facebook come tomorrow when I get ahold of my camera's cable. I took way more pics of them than Gojira because for them I wasn't being held against the stage and I felt bad taking pictures with flash on for Gojira.

Gojira itself was really awesome. It was the first concert I've been to where I've gotten there early enough to be right against the stage. Hell, I was right in front of Joe Duplantier's microphone ;). The only downside was that there were some speakers in the way so I didn't get to see the drums/drummer very much, a little bit unfortunate since he played a sweet drum solo about halfway during the set.
The whole set was super tight. Joe kept looking down and kneeling down to stare right at me and the people right in the fron. There were countless times when I could have easily grabbed him, but I held back haha. When he would play he would look up a lot and I would smile and give him horns haha. A few times the bassist came over and did the same. I can't believe how great of a spot we got. I think they had a smaller crowd that night, which kind of stunk. They're pretty well known in the metal scene (and if not before, they are currently the opener for Metallica...). The people didn't start to show up for Gojira until Dethlehem started...but even then. Oh, well not complaining one bit seeing as how I was so freakin' close to the action. They played:

Oroburos
The Heaviest Matter of the Universe
Backbone
Lizard Skin
Ocean Planet
The Art of Dying
Drums solo
Remembrance
Flying Whales
Where Dragons Dwell

Encore:
Toxic Garbage Island
Vacuity

At the end of the show, Mario threw his drum sticks to the crowd and Henry caught one, but the rude people behind us (the whole show they kept running into the boys and pulling them back in hopes to get closer to the stage) tried to grab it from him and there was a big group just going after it. In the end, Henry nearly had his fingernail pulled off (it started bleeding...super gross >_<)so he gave up the stick. But he did catch a pick, which was really cool. I think Eric caught one too. At the end of the show, one of the stage crew came up and handed me a pick. I just gave it to Tom since before the show he was really hoping to get a pick and he didn't catch one when they threw them to the audience. I was a little sad, because I wanted something too, so I was kind of looking around the stage expectantly when the same stage crew member came up again and handed me the setlist :3. I was like, "I love you!" lol.

Saw AFI last night for the first time EVER. I certainly hope it won't be the last time. I've loved AFI for many years now. I heard of them shortly before Sing the Sorrow came out and when I bought that album I seriously wore it out. So, I've been patiently waiting to see them for around six years now and I finally got my chance last night.

( Poisoned hearts will never change )

I got a 37/41 on my first Japanese exam! :D. This is excellent news because I crammed for the test for only like two hours (not even...) and I walked out of the test room feeling like I failed or something. I'll take the grade :D :D :D

Can't say the same for my Microeconomics exam, however. The professor told us the class average was a 66%. T__________________T. He then proceeded to blame us and poke fun at us for getting lower grades. Not appreciated, good sir, not at all.

I don't know how I can pass econ. It's one of the hardest classes I've taken. I have to say, I think it would be easier with a different professor. He's nice, but I wish he would dumb down the material and not speak in such technical terms with all these messy graphs. Reading graphs with 5 different slope lines, 20 labels for various points, and predicting the tax revenue takes me more than a few tries to get the hang of.

Speaking of hard classes, I have to take a minimum of two statistics classes. helpme.

So, I have exciting news! My Junior year I'm taking TWO fun trips. The first will be during Spring Break, and it will be in Southern Spain! The Andalucia region, actually. For my required theology credit (all majors on campus MUST take a theology credit). And then, for three weeks in May after the year ends, I shall travel to China for two weeks and then go to Japan for one week! Yay! That shall be my Study Abroad credit, as International Business majors are basically required to study abroad. Not complaining though :).

Jamie has been gone for HOUUUUURS practicing. Earlier we decided to order pizza tonight so I didn't dinner. But then she never came back after her 5pm class. Sooooo~ I waited until like 10pm to order >_>. I don't like to text her when she's practicing because I know that its frustrating for her and she probably has her phone off anyways. :-/

All That Remains was sosososososososo fucking sweet last night. Real glad now that I decided to go. At first I was concerned about not having enough money, but I pulled through. Glad now that we bought them at the venue since ticketmaster has a stupid service charge added to their tickets, so I saved $2.50 :D. I didn't buy a tour shirt, which I now kind of regret because they had some nice looking ones that I can't find on the internet :(. The tour shirt had this zombie b-movie look to it, which Henry got. Oh well...I ended up getting a free souvenir...But more on that later ^_^

( And I hear this calling... )

Saw Buckethead last night. There was a Lamb of God show the same night, but we went to Buckethead since Lamb of God tours quite a bit. Besides, GWAR was playing. Yeah, no. The best I can say for GWAR is that their stage show is at least somewhat interesting. But the music is pretty awful. Anyways...they're a little too over-the-top for my tastes. But Job for a Cowboy was there also and I like them enough. But I got the chance to see them at Mayhem. So really the only loss was Lamb of God *shrug*.

As for Buckethead and friends...
We met Andy around 5:45pm and went to go pick up Eric, Andy's brother, and Cory, his brothers roommate. Got there around 7, when the doors opened, and waited around inside Mr. Smalls until the show. The opener was this guy named Wolff from Drums & Tuba. He was alright. Not really my thing though. He used his tuba to make all the sounds. He would bang on the tuba, blow in the tuba...hell, he even sang through the damn thing. He earned brownie points for creativity, but I'll probably never listen to him again.

It took about 45 minutes for Buckethead to come out on stage. He played a lot of good ones during the set...Stick Pit, Jordan, Soothsayer, Jump Man (I think), Ghost Host, Crash Victim, he played a little bit of Michael Jackson's Smooth Criminal during one part haha, Foxey Lady, Asylum of Glass, the nunchaku/robot dance bit, Bansheebot vs. Buckethead, the Ballad of Buckethead....ummmmmm.....idk, I can't really remember >_<. The only full album I have of his is Monsters & Robots. The other stuff I have by him is just random songs (mostly his better-known-stuff). Regardless. He's probably one of the best guitarists I'll ever have the pleasure of seeing. He plays so well and he makes it look so natural. Simply wonderful. The audience was a mixed basket. There were people that looked as young as 11 or so and then there were people well into their 50's. The couple in front of Henry and I kept kind of dry-humping or something bizarre like that. I was glad when they moved >_>'. I bought a tshirt :D.

I'm going to another show this Sunday at Club Zoo to see All That Remains and Lacuna Coil, among others. Don't really have a ton of money, so I'll have to go without getting a concert shirt...But that's okay. Maybe I'll buy one in the future for this tour they're on.

Henry told me that Fear Factory, Children of Bodom, and Lamb of God played shows together back in 2004. We both felt jilted haha. That would have been pretty sweet to witness.

Got coffee with Tess earlier. Don't really get too many chances to see her so it was nice to do a little catching up. She's dating this guy Dave, but she likes his roommate. Its a very Tess-like situation.

On Wednesday evening Andy, Henry and I will be heading to Mr. Smalls (yes, we're going to try and brave 79) to see Buckethead. I've heard he's really good live and not one of those acts you get to see often. Tom and others are going to the GWAR, Job for a Cowboy, and Lamb of God show that night at Station Square....which IMO is a bad idea. Downtown is already craaaaazy due to the G-20 business. It's only going to get worse. Last night people threw feces at the police/police station, according to Tess. A lot of buildings are adding plywood to their windows. My dad's work (among other places) are having employees park outside the city and having them shuttled in. It's going to be insane apparently. I think people only have two ways into the city, maybe three. The people protesting this thing are very serious and radical about these protests...its rather unsettling. Tom and them are going to have one helluva time getting in the city and finding parking. I don't even think people are allowed to park in the street. At least the Pens had enough common sense to postpone their game. We have classes until noon on Wednesday, but I'm leaving Tuesday night. I'm surprised my BIS teacher didn't cancel the class or make it optional, but she hasn't even mentioned the G-20 Summit once. Oh well, she's in for a treat when half the class is gone on Wednesday.

I have one more test in Economics for tomorrow. Must continue to diligently study! Hmph!

Tonight I went to the pre-season Penguins game. They played Columbus. It was actually pretty fun...the Pens won in overtime! BOOYAH! I'm convinced hockey and soccer players are the some of the most attractive people ever >_<. I went with Christy because her brother-in-law has season tickets and was busy tonight so he gave two tickets to Christy and she texted me to come with =). Awesome way to spend a Tuesday evening :D. Plus, the game had some pretty awesome jumbotron (spelling?) moments. Kiss-cam caught this granny and typical bald-with-scruffy-facial-hair guy and then later the regular cameras caught some very enthusiastic thirty-something shooting fake bows off the balcony lol. Twas awesome.

I have sooooo~ many tests before G-20. I have a test MWF this week and then next week I have a Japanese test Monday and then a Math and Econ test on Tuesday. And I work all weekend. FML!

Small annoyance: Brendan's status on facebook is rather aggravating. From my standpoint, slightly insensitive. But, we've been broken up for awhile and whatnot, so I feel silly even mentioning this. I guess the whole situation of the breakup still left me with scars that need longer to heal...

So, my ways seem to be slowly and hesitantly changing. And I don't take that lightly. First off, I'm withdrawing any previous/future support or dislike of the current health care plans. I've done various research and heard enough different ideas that I'm actually just confused. I'd feel as if it would be better to withhold any judgments and figure it all out so I know where I stand. Also, I'm officially pro-life. Before I did a lot of going back-and-forth. I would think one way and then turn around and think a different way. But, I've grown and have sort of reasoned everything in my mind. And pro-life it is.

Thirdly, I don't think I've bitched about this before...but Fuck, do I DESPISE almost all Unions. This isn't anything new, I just felt like now would be a nice place to mention it. They're just useless and the only people that benefit are the heads of unions. Not a big fan of minimum wage either.

There's other things that I'm starting to change and realize and learn about which is kind of putting me in some sort of politically and socially confused mindfuck. For a few weeks I didn't want to blog or talk/rant about it because ultimately some of the things would require me to admit that I was wrong in some way or another. But, I guess that's human. Regardless, not making any judgments yet...like I said, I'm still confused and I need a few things cleared up before I jump off the fence border....I'm just becoming increasingly conservative and its been a weigh on my mind to talk about it. Expect an update in the distant future about an outcome.

Also, I miss Henry. That is all.

Walked down to Southside to meet otakuwench and Sam today. We ate at Pizza Sola and then got Italian Ice at Rita's. I got Mango (my fave...I always get Mango...), but they have a new flavor called Swedish Fish, which tasted pretty superb.

I'm really full right now, but Jamie really wanted pizza, so when she asked me if I wanted to order pizza with her, I didn't have the heart to say no :_(

Henry is gonna call me after he gets off work. He calls every night, which is sweet of him :).

I finished Buso Renkin last night. It saddened me that the ending wasn't good like the rest of the series. ( Possible spoilers/Rant about why I disapproved )

I'm looking forward to next weekend....I'm going home to work, but then I come back for only two days of school then I get to leave for the G-20 Summit to take place for a five-day weekend! :D :D :D

Went down yesterday to CMU to see the lovely otakuwench :D. We wandered around the activities booth fair or whatever it was. Definitely kills Duquesne's activities thing on Academic Walk yesterday haha. She showed me her apartment *_*. It was sweeeeeeeet!

Ate some Little Asia. Would have gotten Bubble Tea and stayed a little longer, but Jamie invited me to her Cello professor's recital at 8pm. I thought about skipping it, but seeing as how we never do anything together because she doesn't like the concerts I attend and her recitals are few and far between, I decided it would be a nice gesture to go with.

Can I just say something: this guy was kicks hardcore cello ass! He played this like 15 minute complicated-from-hell cello piece. Even Jamie, who's been playing for like 15 years was like, "I can only hope to be half as good as him". 0_o

Anyways, I have math homework to finish for later today, so I should go :X.

Last night I went with Henry, Tom, and others to the Hatebreed/Chimaira/Winds of Plague show. It was so awesome, there wasn't a bad band that played. It was at Mr. Smalls. Hatebreed played a lot of songs off of For the Lions. They also played some of my faves...Destroy Everything, Live for This, A Call for Blood, I Will Be Heard (*I think*...maybe I'm imagining this haha) and some others. Chimaira was awesome. I went crazy during their set and I'm pretty unfamiliar with anything not on the Resurrection album. It seemed like I saw a lot more Chimaira shirts than Hatebreed shirts. You can tell Chimaira has some pretty dedicated fans. And rightly so, they put on a really sweet show. First band of the night to really take full advantage of the lighting. it makes a big difference, I think...The whole night is an entirely sense-based experience and the lighting really adds and expands on that in bigger ways than you would expect. Also, Chimaira is from Ohio...which perhaps would explain the dedication. I'm thinking that at least a few fans drove down to represent.

But Hatebreed was fucking awesome too. We moved back for them because of the hardcore dancers. I don't really understand hardcore dancing....Moshing at least is understandable. It's a way of release at these kinds of shows that's only really appropriate in the concert setting. Dancing is just inconsiderate, really. Dancing actually really hurts people. I'd rather have someone run into me and and vice versa than be kicked or punched in the face. Besides, when someone is dancing they clear a big fucking space to do so and hence kind of ruin the pit....until they get wrecked by moshers of course ^_^. And I like hardcore music quite a bit, but I don't understand the mass appeal of hardcore dancing. I'm STOKED to see the Gallows open for AFI. It's gonna be tight!

Being towards the back for Hatebreed kinda sucked because we weren't in the midst of people who really got into the music, but that didn't stop me! I headbanged so much....my neck is still a little sore. Oh, and I bought a Hatebreed tour shirt :D

Anyways, I'm stoked for the next show. Over the next two months, I think we plan on seeing Buckethead, Gojira, AFI w/ The Gallows, and All That Remains. HUZZAH.

I'm back at Duquesne. Yay? I have to say....this year is actually shaping up to be rather depressing.

First, Tess and Christy. They're probably my only two close friends on campus (particularly Tess), but they both live off-campus this year. Which you would think wouldn't be too bad, seeing as how we can see each other between classes. But its not the case. As soon as Christy gets out of class, she leaves. our schedules don't match up to a degree where its possible to see each other between classes either. And same for Tess. Plus, Tess works and Christy is working on getting a job. Sooo~ yes. FML.

My new roommate Jamie is a very nice person. She's pretty personable. But....well....it's not Tess. Which I think is holding me back a little as far as getting to know her. She's not bad and she's relatively easy to live with. It's just not fun. Like, she has A TON of classes (more than I thought was possible >_<) and our schedules don't match at all. And she seems to be avoiding getting a DU card so I've eaten all my meals by myself in Towers. When I'm not at classes, I'm in this dorm just sitting around and doing as much homework as I can. It's very isolating and lonely.

On the bright side, this is only day one. On the down side, this is only day one.

To escape the sort of stifling environment, I did allow myself to get out today and enjoy the nice weather (as well as get some exercise ^_^). I walked down to Southside Works to go to $5 Mondays at the cinema. I saw Julie & Julia, which was nice. Although, once again, I was alone, surrounded by all these people in groups. And I guess they stopped the free popcorn! They used to have a free small popcorn and a movie ticket for only $5 last school year. I guess they decided to change it :(.

On the loneliness thing, it's not so much that I mind doing things alone...because there are many times where I simply want to be left alone. However, I would like to see my friends occasionally throughout a day. You know, just to make the day a little brighter and to be reminded that I still mean something to someone on this campus. And I wish my roommate had an ounce more of availability to go out and get a meal with me. That's all. It's quite simple.

I await very anxiously this weekend. I'm going home. More on my classes later...

Camille Rose Garcia will be doing some project related to AFI! YAY! They haven't announced exactly what yet, but I'm assuming its either the album artwork or new merch designs (probably only available to the DF...). I'm pretty pumped to find out. I don't really pay too much attention to the art world, but I really like what she does.

( So I grabbed my shovel... )

I have a new roommate!!! Her name is Jamie. She's from York, PA. We talked briefly on the phone the other day. From what I gather, she loves her coffee and her cello :). She's a little older than me...she'll be 23 this year and she sure seems more mature :X. She's in the music program, with a focus on the cello. She tested in as a junior I believe and she's a transfer student. Other than that, I don't know much more, but I look forward to learning. I hope we get along and we live well together. I plan on "maturing" the dorm a little this year. Maybe not putting up a poster on every inch of white space and leaving books in piles and leaving the bed unmade is the best way to live. I'll limit my posters, get a rug that IS NOT shag (lol), bring in some sort of air freshening device, get a few more organization drawers, perhaps some hooks, and, if funds allow, a new hamper. *sigh* You know, just to make the place a little more home-y.

Henry is ill today. I'm sad :(.

I kept putting off writing ever since Otakon since I wanted to write some long epic post about the VAMPS concert and the convention as a whole. But that plan totally failed. I started writing it twice and both times had to stop. So anyways. All in all, both were amazingly fun and I had a wonderful time the whole weekend. I posted only about half of my pics on facebook....Still need to upload those. This summer has been awesome, yet not very relaxing. I usually work the shitty shifts at work. On off days, I try to hang out with friends. I haven't had time to myself in a very long time, but thats okay. When the school year starts I'll probably be a little lonely. I don't think I've told too many people yet, but Tess and I won't be roommates fall semester. She got in some trouble this summer with her parents since she made some unwise decisions. Their punishment? She's living at home this upcoming semester. That makes me super super sad. Because living with Tess is my favorite part about Duquesne. And now that shes gone this semester I'm not looking forward to it AT ALL. First, they stuck me with another girl on my floor who I don't get along with at all. Earlier today, I find out that girl is trying to move to a different room (which would be on a different floor). So now I have no idea who I'm rooming with. Then, my class schedule got all messed up because of this math class I should have taken last semester but didn't. Now I'll fall slightly behind my peers until Junior year and I may have to take a summer course. Fucking wonderful.

( More )

Besides my woes, I went to Mayhem festival last Saturday. Omfg. Sooo good. I'm steadily becoming some sort of metalhead....It's a little bizarre. But certainly welcome ^_^. Got to see Marilyn Manson, Slayer, Killswitch Engage, Mushroomhead, All That Remains, Cannibal Corpse, God Forbid, Whitechapel, Behemoth and I think others. The best ones were Manson, Slayer, KE, All That Remains, and Corpse. Behemoth probably would have been a lot better, but it was hard for me to see during their set T_T. Plus two large females were trying to fight in the pit....That was a little distracting. Tsktsk.

Ok...I'm tired and need sleep. Before I go, however, my copy of DIM came in the mail! With a poster and magazine :3. I bought Spinnerette's album. So much good music at one time!

Last night I had a strange dream that I was in some remote desert in North Africa with my fellow business students at Duquesne. And then our teacher passed out two cards to every student with some unique location around the world on it and an itinerary. And then we were somehow supposed to reach this destination and go to the events listed in the card. Kind of like the Amazing Race, except we weren't racing each other, we just had to go to the places and events on the card and return(?).I can't remember what I got....it was either Algiers or Argentina lol. The dream got fuzzy around this part so I kinda forget lol. Anyways....I hope it was Argentina....Algiers would have been cool, but Argentina would probably trump it *nodnod*.

VAMPS WTF. They couldn't do an autograph session on Friday instead?! Oh well...that may be for the best...my first meeting with Hyde would be awkward dressed up as Ryuk *sweat*.

HALCALI owns a little bit of me. BACON is like....howthehelldidIneverhearthisbefore. And their other songs are the best freakin' thing ever also. WHY AREN'T THEY MORE POPULAR?!! I demand to know. Really, they're catchy, have a unique sound, with a little bit of camp thrown in. Seriously. Why aren't more people into them? I'm really curious.

Anyways, might be my last post until Sunday or so! Bon voyage!

OTAKON. OTAKON IS LIKE THIS FREAKING CLOSE AND HFOLSFKhfk;lfhfi.

I'm kind of scared that its here! I mean, of course the anticipation is almost the best part, but its been the thing I've been looking forward to for awhile now. Why? Well, cause there's very very very few things that are complacent at this beautiful place. Lemme tell you why:

1. First and formemost, I'm going with awesome people. So awesome, that just being with them for four days is worth everything by itself.

2.Secondly, its one of the biggest anime cons in America, which means a very large and plentiful gathering of like-minded people (or rather, a community) who gather for the appreciation of anime and, to a lesser degree, Japanese culture.

3. Thirdly, cosplay. Even though cosplay can be a real bitch sometimes because the costumes are constricting and expensive, DAMN DOES IT FEEL GOOD TO COSPLAY. I mean, really. On the day itself having people come up to take your picture or even hearing people call out your characters name as you pass.....it feels great. It really does. It has a tendency to boost confidence like no other (I'm most excited for D.Gray Man day IMHO). I can only imagine what Steph feels like, since she makes almost all of the costumes. Even me, who wears what she makes, thinks DAAAAAAMMMN I LOOK GOOOOOOOD! lol. Thanks again, Steph! :D

4. PANELS AND GUESTS AND CONCERTS OH MY. Seriously, where else can you hear about some of this stuff? Anyone and everyone going to this con could at least find one event itself worth going to. And even if speeches and guests and the like aren't your thing, then they have anime constantly showing throughout (although most, if not all, of the anime you can watch in the comforts of your own home throughout the year anyways >_>).

5. People-watching. You WOULD THINK that just sitting around in corners and hallways would get tiresome. You WOULD THINK that the price paid and time spent on the con itself including travel and preparations would not be worth just lounging on the floor. You WOULD THINK that conversing with your friends would be the same here as anywhere else. Are you entirely wrong? Oh yes, good sir or madam, you are. For you see, many awesome people spend much of their awesome time being awesome and cosplaying awesome-y things. And you know what? Those people come to Otakon, oh yes they do. And you know how many awesome things just simply float around in these corners and hallways? Too many. Just too many. Where else will I see Jesus descend the escalator to enjoy one of Nathan's hotdogs on the main floor? Where else will I see a life-size tentacle sauntering through glass doors? Where else will I see exact replicas of Kakashi-sensei and slutty!Kakashi-sensei holding hands and enjoying a lemonade?.......EXACTLY.

5. Lastly, Dealers Room. Two gymnasium-size spaces filled with stuff that I want to hold, buy, and own. It's magical. So very magical.

AQHLDFSFH;OTAKONISALMOSTHERE!;ASHFKFHHA

This morning contained probably the lowest point of my summer. I failed my drivers test. And not just failed. I didn't simply parallel park wrong or not stop at the stop sign long enough or forget my turn signals or go over the speed limit. I completely and totally FUCKED up. The way I failed is so embarrassing to me that I can't even blog about it. And I've done some preeeeeeeetttty embarrassing things. But this! This was total hell. It's my fault, but the guy testing me was a pretty big asshole. It's the tester that cavorts with the likes of Beezlebub basically, the guy everybody probably tries to avoid. Needles to say, he pwned me. He pwned me good. He was rather rude and yelled at me for EVERYTHING. At one particular moment as I was driving up a hill he was like, "THE SPEED LIMIT IS 10MPH. YOU NEED TO BE GOING THAT! SHOW ME YOU CAN DRIVE ON THE REAL ROAD!". To be perfectly honest with you, I WAS going 8mph because I didn't WANT TO FUCKING GO OVER THE SPEED LIMIT AND FAIL. Duh. Besides, it was on a course....not even on the real road. I don't know, maybe that guy was having a bad day and was on edge. I thought he was particularly harsh.

Well, after crying on-and-off all day, I'm doing a little better. I'm doing something tonight with Henry so I can get my mind off it. I'm just so disappointed and lost most of my driving self-esteem. Not being cocky, but I AM NOT a bad driver. In fact, I'm rather decent IMHO. I don't know what happened, whether I just forgot everything I learned which was compounded with this guy picking harshly at every little thing or what. I feel like I'm ready to be out on the road by myself. Hell, I've had my permit for two years. Two years of practice is more than plenty. I bet that guy thought I'd only ever been driving once or twice lol. Which is so far from the truth...but it really was bad.

I feel so stupid moping about something like this, but it really gets to me!

In other news, I did get a very welcome email this morning saying that I get a FULL refund of $95 for the lavi boots that I ordered because they won't be here in time for the convention. Yay! Well, actually, I DID want the boots....but, that's $95 I won't be sad about spending at the con X3. Now that I have the refunded money, I'm actually not that sad about it haha. *shrug*

My brother was missing a little while ago. He and my dad got in a fight about something or another and Alex just took off. I went outside in the yard while my parents went to search for him and just couldn't help crying! I was so upset. I hate confrontations, specially between people I love. He came back safe and sound later. I was such a mess for a while T_T'

But now that things are better, I can enjoy my two days off! Yay! Brad switched me days off, so now I have a two-day off period. And today I got off at 6:30, so I had some night left, which doesn't happen too often when I work. I wanted to see Henry tonight because we haven't had a chance to hang out recently. But alas, his last day of classes is Thursday and he has three or so projects due by then that he had to stay real late after class for. So no boyfriend time for me. Boo. I might ask if he wants to hang tomorrow or Thursday.

I can't say I really compare them in a way that makes one better than the other, but after being with Brendan for such a lengthy period, it's interesting to see how Henry acts and reacts differently than Brendan. Henry's less emotional, which is a good and bad thing I suppose. He's also a quite a bit less complicated than Brendan, which I consider a good thing. Anyway, its not really anything that deserves a long discussion...it's just interesting to think about I suppose.

I BOUGHT VAMPS TICKETS! ASHFLSHFALFH. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't just as excited to see Hyde from L'arc~en~Ciel up close though *_*. And they have a Meet-and-Greet Friday afternoon. God...does that mean he has to see me all dressed up in cosplay?? Haha...*sweatdrop*

AND THEY FINALLY RELEASED THE PANELS LIST ON THE OTAKON WEBSITE! There's several I want to see since they're not things you see typically. Eek! Yay! I miss Otakon. I should buy a Otakon 2009 shirt this year since I completely failed to last year XD